Buzzzzzzzzz....no wonder you're dying off!

Have you ever been in the a situation where you're making your best efforts to enjoy nature, the fresh air, the sunlight, the breeze, only to become very annoyed by nature again and running back into the comfort of carpeted, air conditioned bliss?....

I just moved into a new apartment, a little 'townhome', one bedroom with upstairs loft...it's great and dirt cheap (any rent in Texas seems cheap to me know after living in NYC). I've got a great little back porch that faces south, tons of wonderful sunlight all day (also the complex's pool is right by me, looking forward to the local eye-candy sunbathers, not looking forward to loud bratty kids splashing all day and doing cannonballs, I wouldn't be surprised if my back door is in the splash zone). Anyways, I was sitting out on the porch in my shorts, facing square-on to the sun to get maximum even Vitamin D absorption (even hiked up my shorts a bit, with discretion, to sear those pasty white thighs). I was eating a big slice of watermelon, had to sit at edge of porch next to gate so I could spit the seeds into the grass (next time I'm buying seedless)....

Then came lovely mother nature, in the form of a big fat furry bee. I've heard that bees are in bad shape lately, a huge famine that could jeopardize all sorts of pollination across the globe, so I respect the little guy, I'd even be happy to share my watermelon and pat him on the back, say 'hang in there buddy'. He was just buzzing around, didn't seem to have much to do but was too close to comfort. I've had bad reactions to bee stings in the past (not sure if he's the type that sting, but not going to wait and find out). So I thought I'd go inside and give him some space. Guess who followed me inside?

That wasn't even the annoying part! The first thing he did was buzz back towards the door, except he went for the other half of the glass door, with glass in it. He buzzed around, got behind the blinds. I tried closing the sliding door a bit to give him some space...then he decided to go in the little crack between the sliding glass and the fixed glass! So now he's buzzing around, sandwhiched inbetween the glass, INSIDE the apt!! After 20 minutes of trying to persuade him out of there, I finally had to stuff a shirt into the crack so he wouldn't go back in there, then I had to scoop him into the middle of the living room with a newspaper. He immediately zoomed out the now wide open door (probably by accident, and who knows who else came inside all this time). I'll be taking a break from nature for now....I don't remember Henry Thoreau having these problems.